Lyrics

My ode to Bill Belichick. Thanks to Robert Berg, Jason Fuse, and KJ Ohnstad for previewing in some form or another. Thanks to Steve Lipton for putting the bug in my ear for this original song.

I was coaching my football team
When a man hands me an ipad-like machine
But I’m a technophobe and over forty
A man, I don’t know how to work this thing

I threw it on the ground!
That touch screen gave me arthitis
And I ain’t gonna be part of your system
Man! I’m luddite, just get rid of that detritus!

The fact I have to wear licensed gear is dumb
So I’ll dress just like a derelict bum
What do you think of my hobo hoodie, man?
Then I ripped off the logo and sleeves

Then threw ‘em on the ground!
I hope the whole brand suffers!
I’m an adult! Man!
I’d rather be petulant than shill for you suckas

In the Super Bowl with the so-called Commissioner
For the ceremony, I’d say my greatest wish is just to stick it to the
Man! Roger, you’re a crony!
Then I’d take the trophy

And throw it on the ground!
Deflate that, Roger!
I don’t care about the shield
Man! And then I’ll just walk off of the field

On to Cincinnati.


A parody of The Lonely Island, "Threw it on the Ground."