Lyrics

Perusing tkjingles.com, we realized that something was missing: more J-Pain... And autotuned dolphins (which interestingly just sounds like regular dolphins). Thanks to judofuse and rob for collaborating on writing and vocals, and for judofuse for his amazing mixing abilities. We sent a shorter version in to the show. This one is the full original song length.

[Show Clip]

Awww yeah (Gary, yeah)
Get your poles and shotguns ready, it's about to go down
Everybody climb aboard the Pelican (Gary, yeah)
But you better batten down the hatches and stay on your toes
We fishin' this, let's go

I'm on a boat (I'm on a boat)
I'm on a boat (going fishing)
Yeah we're gonna catch some marlin cause we're fishin' on a boat (catch some marlins)
Catch some marlin
Kill some dolphin (kill some dolphins)
Yeah we'll kill and eat the dolphin that we catch on a boat

I'm on a boat and I seek a white marlin (Ahab)
One track mind, and I'm just getting started
Like Queequeg with a harpoon, you can't get me off this boat (call me Ishmael)
Until a flying swordfish impales me in the throat

I'm on a fishing boat, feelin' super, G
Trolling like I wrote Mrs McCloughan's tweets (getting naughty-cal)
Got my t-shirt and my flippie floppies
I'm a Person of the Boat, ain't no literati

I'm on the Pelican, catchin' a million
Too bad we can't afford the limes and scallions (straight cash homie)
Hanging with Arch and his first mate, Gilligan (got off the island)
Had his arm dismembered when he grappled with a hammerhead (that's a shark)

I'm killing dolphins (on porpoise), there goes Flipper B
I'll grill it in the toaster, it tastes like chicken meat
This ain't no harbor see, we on the open sea (gettin' all up in it)
Just like Jason on the Argo but what does Argo mean?

You could cook that dolphin up half a hundred ways
Chase, why don't you crock pot a Bouillabaisse
Prepare fillets sous vide, Drew and Steve (straight vacuum)
But don't ever ever serve it with fruit, Newt

Guess what? I'm a man, motorboater (motorboat-er)
Over forty - miles from land, motorboater (more than 40)
Gonna catch a marlin, motorboater (motorboat-er)
Hooked on fluorocarbon, motorboater

Yeah, dolphins are sweet to kids
But they taste so good as ribs
So I'd rather toast them for breakfast

You can hit 'em with a grenade
Some napalm strategically placed
And it turns out there's 51 ways to cook a dolphin

I'm on a boat
I'm on a boat
Yeah we're gonna catch some marlin cause we're fishin' on a boat (release the kraken)
Catch some marlin
Kill some dolphin
Yeah we'll kill and eat the dolphin that we catch on a boat

A parody of "I'm on a Boat" by The Lonely Island