Lyrics

I don't know this for sure, but I believe this is the first jingle that has included a sample of Louis Armstrong, James Carville, Brad Weiss, rob, judofuse, a hippo, and Junior all in the same song. And don't worry, I plan on giving Junior a percentage of all the proceeds I earn from this.

LYRICS:
Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... Mr. Porthouser
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... Brad Childress
Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... Do you know who I am?
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... Mr. Tony

Alrighty, the show as I see
Is so I can shill for kind bars and coffee graters ice cream
And triscuits with sea salt and brown rice, see
Do you know who I be? I don't need to ask nicely
I'm here for free stuff and crushing enemies
Like cross-country skiing freaks and Raju Narisetti, these
Are snow shovel situations
I may just take them and leave 'em with the hippo in my basement
And Wilbon said, "I’m not surprised man
And I don’t advertise this, but Magic and I are tight friends"
My neighbor threw stuff in my trash bins then
I got vindictive, bought their home, now they’re evicted
I lay on the couch eating triscuits from a pouch
Like a lazy marsupial, a lemur with a slouch
Now Papelbon is squeezing the MVP's neck
So I got fed up and said, "That's it, I'm boiling eggs!"

Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... That bald, orange guy
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... This is the Reverend Satchmo
Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... Don’t you know who I am?
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... Mr. Tony

Stop the plane, I’m gonna hyperventilate
What I gotta pay to make them land it right away?
I need heavy drugs, it’s too scary to fly
But the flakka I carried inside just makes me think of cherries and pines
Am I comin’ or goin’? Where is PTI?
I need to start there every time if you need me to drive
But anyway you won’t see me arrive
I just want to get invited, blow it off, and be sleeping by nine
I profile people in TSA lanes and
Act like an agent. "Hey stop! Measure that Cajun!"
I gave Jeff Ma a 50 cause I’m rich and famous
Turns out he turned 50 into millions up in Vegas
I handed him the cash and asked "How would that do?”
Then he doubled down that I’m a dope, and he won that too
It's the mailbag, got your faxes and notes
I’m gonna read them to all you guys and gals, you folks

Hi! My name is... (what?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... Would you look at me!
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (what?)
My name is... Corno curo cabinet
Hi! My name is... (who?) My name is... (huh?)
My name is... Do you know who I am?"
Hi! My name is... (huh?) My name is... (who?)
My name is... Mr. Tony

A parody of "My Name Is" by Eminem. Also features lyrics from Gary's original mailbag theme.