Lyrics

Thanks to Jerry Negrelli for the idea, and for Rob and Jason for previewing it. Coincidentally, this song was part of the "Name that Tune" portion of Trivia Night at Chad's while I was there (after I had just finished writing this).



Look
If you had
One shot
Or an opportunity
To flush your kid’s inheritance
Down the toilet
In one business venture
Would you do it?

Yo
He’s mostly grouchy, head bald, old and craggy
Fry fragments on his jacket: bowling alley
He’s flush, but here comes what we know will happen
He’ll blow cash, cause he’s not known as savvy
Now his estate’s incinerated on a place to chow,
A vacant house, and soon a Citation, wow
Even Nic Cage claims that the boy’s insane
His financial advisor breaks, now he’s boiling eggs
The plan was a travesty, blown shot, Swaggy P
Dough dramatically disrobed, like bad lodging
Exposed as a Ronstadt under Dodgers jacket peek
Tony’s podcast is the only fall back so he’s
Toast, like a slab of beef, groans over gas bill fees
Woah, D.A. can’t believe he’s such a dope and rabidly
Screams till he’s Assateague, hoarse, while Satch stacks pennies
At least he owns a real restaurant and not Applebee’s

You’re gonna lose your wealth
In this restaurant, you own it
You’ve blown it, inheritance is gonna go
In first place till the last
Then like the Caps, you choked
You better call Michael, tell him life is raining, Tone

You can lose anything you set your mind to, Tony