Lyrics

A parody of Eminem's "Stan."

I kept the original chorus for this one just because it still seemed to fit the general theme of the original song. The “Joe” in here is obviously not a reference to the great Joe Aro, but it was the first name I thought of that fit the rhyme scheme. I can’t remember the actual names of people that have actually written these types of letters to Tony.

LYRICS
My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Tony, I wrote you but you still ain't calling
I sent an e-mail, fax, and note but you must not-a got ‘em
Called 411 like you said but there must have been a problem
Remember that time I saw you on PTI? That was awesome!
But anyways, I’m a journalism student up in college
I need to write an essay on Watergate and all that followed
I heard you were once a writer at the Post and did some columns
Or did you call them columnettes?
Maybe you can help me
I’ve attached some simple questions, maybe twenty
A page answer for each one of them would truly be just plenty
I know you probably hear this everyday, but I’m your biggest fan
But I need to turn this paper in! Are you with me man?
And you could write it better than me, yes, I know you can
Don’t you have a book or two? At least I heard you had
Anyways I hope you get this man, thank you though
I love your show, truly yours, your biggest fan
This is Joe

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'll all be gray, but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad, it's not so bad.

Dear Joe, I read what you wrote, it was nice
I would write you back but these fingers? They no longer type
So I’ll just answer on this show, let me clear my throat
Come to think about it… The answer:
It’s a “no.”