Book Me

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A parody of a song by Neil Diamond.
Recorded by Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Recorded: 07/01/2015  Released: 07/02/2015  First aired: 07/02/2015

Lyrics

Cillizza's appearances have shot through the roof this year, so I assume a conversation like this had to have taken place. [This is my first full length jingle of the Summer. Woot!]

It was morning and I was hoping
For the phone call to say I’ll come on
The Tony Show
‘Cuz Clarke can’t go
They’d book me

The Fix is great for a fish rapper
It’s good to read while on the crapper
But my need is big
For a morning gig
come book me

You need a guest I think it’s cool
I’m erudite you’re public schooled
book me

Calls that rang to me, tweets that sprang from me
Wine they brang to me while in Aisle 3
At the game
I’m naming names
So book me

You’re mostly bald my hair’s a crust
You’re on TV I’m on a bus
Come book me

And so it was that I chanced to swim in
Diana Ross’s pool while chasing women
I hurt my knee
contracted scurvy
or scabies

I tweet nonstop you shout til noon
I’m scared of death you’re dying soon
Come book me

I drink white wine, you - Walker Blue
I am the goy you are the jew
Book me

Comments

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  • Anonymous Little
    This is so funny, Hampton. Very well done! Full length jingles are becoming the year-round norm now (although they've always been the norm for John and John.) I think Jerry actually played the entire Stairway to Heaven on a podcast last summer didn't he, Brad?
    3379 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    I do some of my best work on trans-Atlantic crossings! You too, I'd say.
    3382 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    lol, Brad. Now I can't fix it because it belongs to you. I plead this excuse: I was fresh in from Europe (wrote the thing on the plane) and working on 24 hours without sleep. No excuse for not editing it by now, though.
    3382 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Also: I find the serendipitous misspelling "fish rapper" extremely amusing (if only a visual pun).
    3382 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    It's rare that John Fitzpatrick does one less than full-length! It's great that they are actually playing the longer ones, too. I may send them Stairway to Heaven...
    3382 days ago.
  • John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
    Simply fantastic. I'm not a Neil diamond guy, but definitely appreciate this one ??. I seem to miss the fact that full length jingles are supposed to be for the SUMMER! I do them all the time... Haha
    3382 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Definitely some epic stuff there. I noticed a lot of great Pink Floyd ones in that range, which is fitting. Might be time to add more to the Les Miserables saga, or find a full concept album to parody. Or complete the Spinal Tap soundtrack. Speaking of train wrecks - I've got like an extra 2 hours per day for my train of thought to run further off the tracks now that there's no TK podcast. Also, I hope Jerry does that 30 minute Abbey Road medley.
    3382 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Jason, go listen to the ones from last July!! Epics .
    3382 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Great angle on Cillizza, and really funny. I love the idea of full length summer jam jingles.
    3382 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    holy **** is this funny!
    3383 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    And let the long-form Summertime jingles begin, Brad! I'm expecting all four movements to the Symphonie Fanatastique from you!
    3383 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    truth to tell, I did that; it was already 2 minutes at the bridge so I ended it there. Clearly there were enough landmines in it already without the final chorus.
    3383 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Ah, they cut you out early! Nuts. Nice!! If you can call Neil Diamond "nice".
    3383 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    Just splendid!!
    3383 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    Can't let Brad, Jerry and Jason have all the Neil Diamond fun. Hot August nights will be here soon enough.
    3383 days ago.