Lyrics

The great Schlomo Negrelli ("the Talented Brother") helped me rewrite and perform this little tune for all you folks. A parody of the Bare Naked Ladies tune by the same name, ironically enough.


If I had a million dollars, (If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy up every Cranberry Almond Kind Bar (and sell em to Tony for ten bucks a piece)
If I had a thousand dollars (If I had a thousand dollars)
I'd hire him to grill my steak (he won't do that for less than 3 grand!)
If I had about 30 dollars (If I had about 30 dollars)
I'd buy "Listen Up" on DVD. (But I wouldn't make you watch it, that's cruel)

If I had a million dollars I'd send more swaaaaag

If we sent a million dollars, He'd read my email and my notes
If we sent a million dollars, He'd play my jingle for you folks
If we sent a million dollars
Maybe Nigel would abscond with it somehow
Yeah and split it with the sales weasels, blow it on Caps playoff tickets
and Zumba classes in Maine.
Or maybe Tony could sponsor a sameday podcast?
Yeah, right, he’d probably use it to bulldoze his neighbors' house. . . .

Sonsofbitches.


p.s. yours truly on the guitar, so don't blame Negrelli.