Lyrics

I’m gonna need a million dollars
(gonna need a million dollars)
to start my own podcast
(Tony, I think you’re settin’ the bar a little bit high)

But if I had a million dollars
(if you had a million dollars)
My podcast would be bigger than Serial
(I wouldn’t be so sure, everybody loves breakfast)

And if I had a million dollars
(If you had a million dollars)
I’d buy Nigel a dental plan
(but not some fancy plan that includes orthodontics!)
And if I raise a million dollars, I’ll do my show

I only need a million dollars
(That’s like three days pay on PTI)
Just a measly million dollars
(I can see the sponsors forming a line)
If I had a million dollars
I'd probably quit

A parody of Barenaked Ladies, "If I Had A Million Dollars"