Lyrics

Bears fans across the land turn the channel when he starts
Strip sacks, interceptions, and punting in equal parts
Married a reality star because of course he did
The vacancy in both their eyes implies glitchy eyelids
 
No, no oh, no no, no, no-oh-e-oh-oh-oh
He throws a pick, and then lights a cig
No, no oh, no no, no, no-oh-e-oh-oh-oh
Ponders a bit what might be on Netflix
 
Is he stoned?
No one knows
He always wears such a punchable face
(Next year he will be in Cleveland)
Puffy cheeks
Losing streaks
Their QB bleats from his punchable face
(Season’s over, in October)

P-p-p-punchable face, punchable face