Lyrics

I feel that this jingle needs little introduction. So I'll go with this: Does Mr. Tony spook easily and exaggeratedly? When will someone write a jingle listing several - but not all - of TK's overblown phobias to the tune of a Black Sabbath classic, such as "Paranoid" for example? ...I believe this jingle answers all of these two questions, Also the title kind of says it all.

Furthermore, I'm a little surprised that no one seized upon TK's anti-mango sentiment a few weeks back, as well as the gang's discussion of "theft by unlawful taking."

The incomparable Robert Berg contributed far more constructively on this one than simply lending his voice. He also can probably tell us whether or not "exaggerated" can be used as an adverb.

Lyrics:

...salmonella at Chipotle
...monkeys cruisin' on the Beltway

Autonomous autos may herald the fall of humankind
My Caddy just told me theft by lawful taking ain't a crime

Wilbon says...
He's not surprised...

If my end's not brought on by the Zika, drones, or animals
I bet that it will be met thanks to some damn millennial

Can you hear me? I believe I had th-
-oh no

...texting the kids
...can't talk, choking

Mike and Liz please remember to hand wash all the bone china
Did not foresee death by mango, did I not order papaya?