Lyrics

You’re so incredibly old
Your fingertips and toes are cold
And every time I see your skin
It’s lost a little elasticity

Often when you speak
The same old tales are on repeat
How many times must we hear
Of Cousin Marilyn’s ice cream schmear?

Ancient guy
Looking for us to send you a box
But maybe you oughta be shopping
Picking out a really nice burial plot

You’re so incredibly old
You carry cash in a billfold, with
Liver spots to behold
Watch out for that Chicago mold!

And even on your final day
All the littles will hear you complain
That all of your guests’ phones suck