Lyrics

This is my one and only summer jingle. I have a slightly different version that's not in here. I'll share that version if Jerry ends up playing it on his prodcast. Otherwise, this is what you get.

LYRICS:
You can’t get the podcast? I feel bad for you schlub
I got 99 problems but a click ain’t one

Once upon a time in 2005
I downloaded a podcast for around the first time
It took two clicks, it’s utilitarian
Even antiquarian septuagenarians
Could decrypt this algorithm if you cared enough
I’ve had various impediments, this is nary one
See some might call me a Little, proletarian
And my monetary status is like carrion
Perhaps I should have practiced a little more yapping as
That’s how Satch built stacks of that capital
I am somewhere between Millennial and Gen X
Which means I’m entitled - to being depressed
I’ve never went golfing with the president
I’ve never owned two homes and left one tenantless
I went up to where the tickets for Hamilton were kept
Said “Isaacson hooked me up,” they were not impressed
Went to the Palm, asked for my mail, they said, “Here’s the check”
I have zero pairs of Bass shoes, and I confess
How many robes in my hotel? Well, that’d be none
I got 99 problems but a click ain’t one
Honestly

99 problems but a click ain’t one
You’re having podcast problems? I feel bad for you schlub
I got 99 problems but a click ain’t one


A parody of Jay-Z, "99 Problems"