Lyrics

As originally played on the 100th episode of the TKJingles podcast (with a different intro), and I am not submitting this to the TKShow. Apologies to anyone not mentioned in this song. An even greater apology to anyone that is mentioned :) Most of this song is not actually true and this was truly done out of admiration. Thanks to Jason Fuse and Robert Berg for previewing it and giving feedback.


LYRICS:
Jingle this, jingle that
Jingle this, jingle that
Jingle that, jingle this
I can’t jingle… any of it

T. O. N. Y.
They jingle ‘bout his show really all the time
All my favorite songs defiled
But we kid cause we love, that’s my alibi
Gotta start with Jerry, he packs the house
Songs are quick and punchy, he’s Pacquiao
Sticks to 45 seconds, he’ll show ya how
If it’s 46… then he’s throwing it out
Joe Aro’s voice might have super powers
Done in 15 minutes? This took me six hours
Knocked out faster than a Nats reliever
And submitted to the show before my pizza’s even delivered
Jason Fuse plays 47 instruments
All at the same time while he’s mixing it
Singing to every genre that exists but yet
He can’t help with his kid’s school concert events

All the Littles know
These are the folk that soundtrack the show
All I wanna know
How do they not get fired from their jobs at home?

Uncle Brad Weiss is a ham but can he “let it be?”
They call him kiboko kidogo in Swahili
Doesn’t know hip hop but knows bongo flava
Never heard of Jay-Z but knows who Proffessor Jay is
And Steve Lipton shoots out more than Kobe dares
Sends just-in-time songs before the show sees air
Like McFly with a magazine, his covers are borne
Then they combust like a modern-day hoverboard
Robert Berg? He’s incomparable
Cause he gets up at times that’re unconscionable
Wakes up, makes lunch, and then he writes a winner
Then he’s out to mow the lawn in the Pittsburgh winter
Fitzpatrick’s “Former Writer” really had me amused
Or was it Patrick Moffet? Nigel got me all confused
I remember what I say but I cannot recall
Which one had a song about a Cajun’s bocce balls?
And KJ is the Kevin Bacon of this
She’ll co-star on a hundred jingles for the sake of a hit
Or maybe I’m just jealous I can’t sing doing this
The National Anthem’s Carl Lewis of this
And my wife thinks this is "time (wasted)"
She thinks all these people still live in their mom’s basements
“But they might play it, the bald guy might praise it
90 seconds of fame and I can almost taste it”

Nah, forget it


A parody of Jay-Z, "Blueprint²" (which samples "Ecstasy of Gold" by Ennio Morricone)