Lyrics

WELL 7 OUT OF 10 DENTISTS RECOMMEND
YOU STOP CHEWING THEM
BEFORE THE FILLINGS FALL OUT OF YOUR HEAD
WELL YOU CHEW AND CHEW ON THE MIDGIE BREW
AND AH, DAMMIT, OUT POP A FEW
I GUESS I SHOULD MAKE A WISH

MAYBE THEY SHOULD TRY TO ADAPT
WITH A WIDGET OR SOME KIND OF CANDY APP
OR SOME OTHER MARKETING CRAP
EVOLVE OR DIE TINY CHOCOLATE DISH
USE ONE OF YOUR DARWINIAN TRICKS
MAYBE YOU CAN BECOME A HAM SANDWICH

WHAT IS THE DEAL?
WHAT IS THE DEAL?
THE OLD MAN BEMOANED
LOSING THE THINGS HE’S KNOWN
LIKE A TOOTSIE ROLL

WELL THE LEMON AND THE LIME IS A CONFECTIONARY CRIME
THE VANILLA AND CHERRY IS A WASTE OF TIME
BUT THE CHOCOLATE IS SUBLIME
WELL NESTLE IS A BAR
AND HERSHEY IS A BAR
AND CADBURY IS A BAR
AND MARS MAKES BARS
THANKS FOR DELINEATING WHAT THESE THINGS ARE

WHEN A GENERATION HAS TO CEDE CONTROL
THEIR ROCK AND ROLL IDOLS DIE WITH THEIR HAIR FOLLICLES
AND THEY CAN’T FIND THEIR BOCCE BALLS
WELL TOOTSIE ROLLS ARE THE BEST AT WHAT THEY DO
PRETTY SOON THAT WILL BE YOU TOO
WHEN THAT TIME COMES I’LL SEE YOU AT THE BROWSE-ABOUT JUST AFTER NOON

WHAT IS THE DEAL?
THIS IS UNREAL
THE OLD MAN BEMOANED
I’M LOSING THE THINGS I’VE KNOWN
LIKE (BLEEP)ING TOOTSIE ROLLS