Lyrics

D.A. AND TONY THINK
HALL AND OATES ARE PRETTY SWEET
LIZ CLARK DOES NOT AGREE
SHE THINKS THEY’RE “PLEASANT”
RAJU NARISETTI
BRAINS LIKE WET SPAGHETTI
WOULDN’T KNOW AN ADVERT
FROM A NEWS EVENT
SALES WEASELS HAVE NO PRIDE
CAN’T FIND A WAY TO MONETIZE
A PODCAST HEARD ACROSS THE GLOBE
TENS OF THOUSANDS OF DOWNLOADS
WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY DO
BESIDES EAT MR TONY’S FOOD
THEY SHOULD BE, CARRYING
URINE SPECIMENS

THEY DON’T HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
YOU CAN’T RESPECT THEM AND YOU CAN’T INJECT THEM
THEY DON’T HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
THEY CAN’T CONCEAL THAT THEY’RE A REAL SCHLEMIEL

SPEED DEMON JAYSON WERTH
DOES THE HARDEST THING IN THE UNIVERSE
659 CAREER RBI
ROBERT GRIFFIN, RUINED KNEE
PREPPING TO BE MVP
SINGS ALONG TO BILLIE JEAN, BUT HASHTAG BEAT IT
TROY AT BAMA, MAN ALIVE
CARVILLE’S TAKING 45
COURTNEY’S LAYING WOOD AGAIN
DROPPING STATS LIKE TIM KURKJIAN
JAWS IS CLAIMING EXTRA WINS
LOSING TO THE SIMIAN
THE MONKEY’S PLAYING SHUFFLEBOARD
WITH DON SHULA

THESE GUYS HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
A WILL TO POWER AND THEY NEVER COWER
THESE GUYS HAVE CHAPUTZFUH
JUST LIKE CHAGALL, THEY’RE NOT SCHLEMIELS

MARION BERRY’S RULE
PAYING TAXES IS FOR FOOLS
SHEEHAN’S CALLING 6 TO 10
THE NAM IS ACTING UP AGAIN
CANTORI YAWNS, NOT COMPELLED
WON’T SHOW UP FOR LESS THAN TWELVE
GUNS ABLAZE, SET FOR WAR
OOZING IT FROM EVERY PORE

SATCH WANTS INVITATIONS SENT
FOR PARTIES THAT HE WON’T ATTEND
FOR REASONS WE CAN’T COMPREHEND
BEHAVIOR WE CAN’T RECOMMEND
JEFF MA BUMPED ON THE NEWS
HERE’S 50 BUCKS TO SHINE MY SHOES
BECAUSE, REALLY
HOW MUCH MONEY COULD YOU MAKE?

THIS GUY HAS CHAPUTZFUH
HE’S OLD AND FUSSY AND IT SIMPLY MUST BE THAT
THIS GUY HAS CHAPUTZFUH
BUT HE CAN’T MANAGE TO GET A SUBWAY SANDWICH