Lyrics

Tony’s up at 4 in the morning
can’t fall back asleep so he turns on the news
Stumbles to the breakfast table
toasts himself a bagel and pours some juice
And he drives up to Maryland, does a show then comes home again
Then he’s back out on Connecticut, to and from ESPN then his day is done

And if you found that interesting... what the hell’s wrong with you?
Tony loves little sliced apples and Raju isn't a total ***** all the time
Tony never worked at PTI, the Washington Post, Newsday or the New York Times
Tony loves little sliced apples
and he never coached the Minneapolis football team
And he never screams or throws a fit, never threw a dinner plate at his kids and doesn’t throw coffee cream

A parody of Roger Miller, “Little Green Apples"