Lyrics

Co-written by the Jingle Trek Minglefest crew!!! Credit to Eva & Ana Negrelli, Steve Lipton, Joe Aro, Dan Gattuso, Bill Lehecka, and anyone else who contributed to this parody!

I used to have a real job
I owned a bar and wrote a columnette
Then some jerk put a bat in his soup bowl
so I put myself under house arrest

Now I’ve got a life that’s so appealing
And I’m praying that it never ends

Never gonna leave my house
Never gonna go outside
Never gonna make another excursion

Never gonna drive my car
the Safeway’s way too far
Never gonna see Wilbon in person

A parody of Rick Astley, “Never Gonna Give You Up”