B$%&! (Brick)

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A parody of a song by Ben Folds.
Recorded by Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
Recorded: 04/13/2016  Released: 04/14/2016  First aired: unaired

Lyrics

For our favorite dog, Chessie...

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6 a.m., I'm up like normal
I throw my robe on in the dark
And then I smell
Something is reeking
That pup is sleeping
I am not
And I find
Now that I've adopted one
I'm been knocked off of my throne
Like I never have before

She's a bitch, I think she abhors me.
Herding me and I don't have a prayer
She's a bitch, and she's so unholy

And weeks went by,
I'm patching up my blood lines.
They told me, "Tone, it's time for you to man up"
And I got down, onto the ground
And bit her like a lion.

Flossing out this pelt I'm chewing
And for the moment, I'm alone
She's on the throne
Chewing a bone
I guess I've blown it...

She's a bitch and I kneel so lowly
I'm a sheep and I'm herded everywhere
I'm her b$%&! and I'm beaten wholly.

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Comments

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  • Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
    Brilliant, John! Great performance too.
    3434 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Flossing out this pelt I'm chewing. Genius.
    3440 days ago.
  • Jerry in Annandale, VA
    Ooo, I hadn't picked up on the subtlety of that last use of the word. Very nicely done. :)
    3440 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    You know I love the idea of two jingles simultaneously based on the same song, so this is cool. And as far as the title of this, I had the same thought at one point to write a Chessie jingle to the similarly titled Meredith Brooks song... so very well done sir. The FCC-like differentiation in the last chorus is also great. :)
    3440 days ago.