Lyrics

Nigel’s sittin’ there with Gretchen Wu
Talking sports and some ancient history, too
Speaking Latin’s nice
So this couple's gone out twice
And Nigel's looking for a reason not to leave

Oh, Gretchen Wu
Nigel's into you 'cause you remind him
of somebody else
A bald orange jew
that he sees every day
who sounds a lot like yourself

Gretchen, there’s still time to change your mind
change your name and leave this all behind
Gretchen, he’ll break your heart
He's only after a green card

A parody of Rod Stewart, “Reason To Believe"