Lyrics

PTI is over
Mr. Tony makes a call
he’s getting awfully hungry
and he’s heading to The Palm

to meet his one friend, Bubes
He knows other people but he hates their guts
Only one friend, a socialite
They’ll be two drunken rats drowning in wine tonight

Tony says
Act like you’ve been here, get the chicken parm
Steak is for the Littles, get the chicken parm
Heads turn when they enter, their faces are on the wall
The bartender breathes a sigh
Kornheiser's finally here
to take away this mail

With his one friend, that’s not a lot
sharing liquor in a parking lot
One friend...

A parody of U2, "One"