Lyrics

This might be my favorite song of all time... so naturally I decided to butcher it up. It's way too long, so a website special.

Please send me some salmon, Or a Smith Island cake
Your Emails and faxes are all fine... But tell me, do you bake?
I'll give you valuable advice...information for life... that's a good exchange
And I might even say your name... or call you a lady by mistake

Did I mention that Virginia is oval shaped? Don't be obtuse... it's not scalene, not scalene
And that goats and reindeer are pretty much the same?

Real wealth is never having
To spend your own cash, so send me everything
Except tuna in a bag, I'm not eating that
No fish lasts til 2018
All the steaks you can, fit into a bag, along with some ice cream
Cause the secret is, it tastes better when it's free!

I know all of this stuff I can easily buy
I'm much richer than all of you
But why should, why should, I buy it
Why? Why!? When it's sent to me for free

Parody of Black by Pearl Jam.