Lyrics

There are places that I just don’t go
Like McDonalds and Whole Foods and Target and, God forbid, Costco

But I do like to grow my own food
If you can outsmart a deer
a fresh tomato is ALMOST worth the effort

So I stop at Wal-mart on my way home from the beach
And I journey past the dairy and the tires
Ask a workerman for help and he shows me where to go

And now I'm "standing on line"
Yes, I say it like that
then a man buying worms says
“Wait, my wife’s coming back to me"
So I turn around
and I see her huge cart
I have only three things but his wife’s coming back to him
(His wife's coming back, she’s coming back to him now)

I made it so close but now I’m close to the edge
Gonna take some drastic measures
Toss my cart and scream real loud
I’m texting Michael

‘cause I can’t believe this
I will never come back
I was next to check out
but his wife just came back to him

I’m shaking my fists
And I’m on the warpath
I almost got out
but his wife just came back to him
Twenty minutes on line
but his wife just came back to him
I will never leave here
‘cause his wife just came back to him now

A parody of a song written by Jimmy Steinman, made famous by Celine Dion, “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now"