Lyrics

Here he goes again
Vamping for all to hear
Another sports-less day
One hour left, oh dear-oh
More pointless-ness
Than any man can bear…
Rescue us before we all pull out our hair-oh

Tony reads us lots of texts that he’s sent
One hundred texts to Bill Isaacson
He hopes that Bill can get his
Pinehurst connection buddy
Alex Podlogar just some
Free tickets to Fun Home…yeah
Free tickets to Fun Home…yeah

A day has passed since Alex sent a note
Which said the show went straight to his heart
Only I’m not sure he went to the right place
Cause Isaacson just
Said he got him two for Humans

Two old men texting sure is a riot
Reading those texts on a show is not
I hope that Tony stops soon
I really hope he’ll stop soon
Thank God he stopped but still it
seems he’s hit the bottom, oh
Finally hit that bottom
Oh, the old man’s off his rocker, yeah
Lights are on but no one’s home