The "Laser-like Fat Removal System" Song (Rebel Yell)

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A parody of a song by Billy Idol.
Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 05/18/2016  Released: 05/18/2016  First aired: 05/20/2016

Lyrics

I was beginning to get edgy having not written a jingle in 3 weeks. I'm rusty.


Last night Mr Tony was announcing billboards
Driving around Queenstown saw one that made him roar
Twas for an odd doctor with a license to bleed
Your bloated lipid membranes, and you won’t feel a thing
Because

From your aerated gut, the fat pours pours pours
From the sliced fat cells, like a trojan horse
Drink some chocolate syrup, hell, drink a whole quart
The ventilated cells have been scored scored scored
From a laser-like source

Your fat sludgy belly is now pocked like swiss cheese
40 years of french fries flooding your bloodstream
The laser-like thingamajig now warms up your skin
And then it starts making new collagen
Somehow

Cheap orange pants won’t be such an eyesore
For a deflated can, call the fat removal corps
Atop the tattoo shop, next to the adult bookstore
We apologize for the viscosity of the floor

Comments

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  • Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
    The laser sound effect is perfect. I'm floored by the production of this. Just not THAT floor.
    2959 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    ...sure.
    2964 days ago.
  • Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
    It's all DNA on some level...
    2964 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    the viscosity is from the fat...yeah...from the fat.
    2964 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    That reminds me Rob - I could use that laser sound effect for my other project...
    2964 days ago.
  • Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
    The laser sounds just kill me. That last line - it's great but makes me feel... I believe the English-major word would be... icky.
    2964 days ago.
  • cspan
    What he lacks in quantity, he makes up in quality. He is ... incomparable.
    2969 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Well they liked this one. Snort!!
    2970 days ago.
  • Jason Fuse in Los Angeles
    I love this angle on the laser/fat story. That sound effect is a nice touch too... ridiculous in the best way. And that last line is a killer.
    2970 days ago.
  • Chad
    I dub thee "Bergy Idol." :) Well done!
    2971 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    This is unbelievably awesome.
    2972 days ago.
  • Anonymous Little
    Rusty like a fox - he's back ladies and gentleman! He's got 80's sound effects and he's not afraid to use them.
    2972 days ago.