A Monkey Tries to Drive a Bus (Another One Bites the Dust)

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A parody of a song by Queen.
Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 01/07/2016  Released: 01/07/2016  First aired: 01/08/2016

Lyrics

Obviously I owe a small debt to Weird Al on this one.


A simian walks down the street
A bus driver just awoke
The monkey hops in the driver’s seat
And turns the engine over
The driver wasn’t ready for this
He points at the monkey and screams
The monkey pops it into second gear
And steers towards the citizenry

A monkey tries to drive a bus
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Well a monkey gets on, is he doing reconn?
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Hey, you gotta know we’re screwed
When the monkeys learn to drive a bus

How do you think we’re gonna get along
When they get a couple hydrogen bombs?
And they’re manning their very own fleet of drones
I bet they’ve got spies at Amazon
And if you ever see a murder of crows
Over the White House, circling
You’d better bet they have assassination on the brain
But it starts with larceny, when a…

A monkey tries to drive a bus
A monkey tries to drive a bus
Well it’s not a black swan, the revolution is on
A monkey tries to drive a bus, Yeah
You would have to think real soon
They’re coming for all of us

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Comments

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  • DRN001 in Chicago
    Really smart. Great work.
    3222 days ago.
  • Sandeep in Lawrence, MA
    Long time, first time. You Sir, are indeed incomparable.
    3223 days ago.
  • Byron in Philadelphia, PA
    Amazing work on this!
    3223 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    Joe: thanks as well, because i really tried hard to make this as funny as i could. Anita, i didn't mean to dismiss your Eagle pain out of hand. After all, 0 super bowl wins is 0 super bowl wins. especially when everyone else in the division has at least 3. you're till not Cleveland, but worthy of the suffering.
    3223 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    okay, monkeys are my weak spot, and obviously I'm not alone. I find it hard to pass up a monkey story. Patrick's comment is exactly how I would teach my kids if I had any, I appreciate Pace's compliment, which was high praise considering how good Brad's song was, and Rich's too, and then Brad's comment made me laugh until I cried.
    3223 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Hey, I'm sitting right here, ya know! No, no, we kid because we're despondent. A worthy jingle, by all means.
    3223 days ago.
  • Rich Oettinger in Albany NY
    This is actually incomparable. Maybe it's true, monkeys make everything better.
    3223 days ago.
  • Pacetb in Lakewood, OH
    I thought Brad's jingle "The Letter" was the best of the week. Then, boom! Robert Berg reminds us all why he's The Incomparable Robert Berg.
    3223 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    Tears in my eyes. So freakin' funny!!!
    3223 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    This is amazing... citizenry and the recon line are so good. I think I need to become a teacher of some sort so I can tell stories like that to children Patrick, cause that is great. I'm not reaching my potential for terrifying kids by being limited to just my two.
    3223 days ago.
  • Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
    I was giving a presentation on wetlands/waterfowl to young students a while back and a 1st or 2nd grader asked me why a group of crows was referred to as a murder. I really just wanted to respond by saying that groups of crows are known for killing rural children, but instead chose to go with my standard answer: all birds are out to kill you, crows just succeed.
    3224 days ago.
  • Anita from Alaska
    You mean the monkey in the backseat doing her nails and smoking Marlboro Greens? The same monkey that drove the car into the pool? Must have been. And like all monkeys she don't need no last name.
    3224 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    So Brad, at the Monkey Driving Academy is there a blind student monkey driving and did the driver's side door get torn off? Did the Monkey driving instructor bum a cigarette from the hot monkey in the backseat?
    3224 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    The real scoop is that Monkey University is actually a driving academy. Most of them are fully outfitted with coconuts.
    3224 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    just make sure most of it makes it to your stomach!
    3224 days ago.
  • Anita from Alaska
    Monkey jingles comment was mine. Forgot to ID myself. Too much red over the sink.
    3224 days ago.
  • Anonymous Little
    Monkey jingles never get old and neither does the animal revolution. Selfie denied! The legal saga of the monkey selfie continues: On Wednesday, a federal judge said the macaque who famously snapped a picture of himself cannot be declared the owner of the image's copyright. At least, until Congress says otherwise. There's "no indication" that the Copyright Act extends to animals, U.S. District Judge William Orrick wrote in a tentative opinion issued Wednesday in federal court in San Francisco.
    3224 days ago.

Playlists

This jingle is included in the following playlists:

Playlist User
All of robert berg's Jingles robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
All the TK Jingles of 2016 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Berg's Best Jerry in Annandale, VA
Favorites Byron in Philadelphia, PA
Favorites Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
Favorites sabres3082 in basom, ny
Favorites jarad2112 in Washington, DC
Favorites ToddInLexington in United States
Favorites Josh Elliott in Muncie, IN
Favorites Dwconnell in Melbourne, fl
Favorites ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Favorites DanLTaylor in Columbia, MD
Favorites viruppal in
Favorites HipHopHead in Los Angeles, CA
Favorites Erinwla in West Hollywood, CA
Favorites drs_22 in Marlborough, MA
Favorites Rich Oettinger in Albany NY
Favorites kerrytoo in Fleming Island
Favorites darkhelmut69 in Fairbanks, AK
Favorites kpcrowe in Chicago, IL
Favorites Irish Jet in South Bend, IN
Favorites Andy Fox in Arlington, VA
Favorites Joe_In_Jacksonville in Jacksonville, FL
Favorites MikeT in Jersey City, NJ
Favorites Hi_I'm_N8 in Madison, WI
Favorites Quigley Skywalker in Far Rockaway NY
Favorites Rupe45 in Lebanon
Favorites Sloth27 in Portsmouth
favorites 2 aafrank in Fairfax, VA
Incomparable Robert Berg rosie814 in Fairfax, VA
MFR Favorites rosie814 in Fairfax, VA
New Playlist ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Playlist Gabe in Iron Mountain Mi
RB ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Rb 717 ernmjb in Rensselaerville, NY
Robert Berg Leftone in
Rupe's Faves Rupe45 in Lebanon, OH

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