Lyrics

Website Winter Break Special. I watched Emmett Otter's Jug Band Christmas multiple times every Christmas break as a kid, and this song from that is one of the earliest things that made me want to become a musician. No joke, that bear was one of the coolest rock stars I knew of at the time. So, I loved it when Rob brought up this idea. Thanks to him and Luke for helping make this ridiculous and so much fun.

I’m writing from the 412
I chew gum when I shave
I only choose prime numbers
For cooking times in the microwave
This is the detritus he incites us
To spam him with ’til it sags
Mr Tony’s Email Bag

Bonjour old sport
I wrote to your email machine
I once saw Joe Buck
At whole foods buy 3 mangosteens
Please tell Gretchen Wu
That my neighbor’s dog is sneaky fat (vafer apidem!)
Mr Tony

Write a paper please, my wedding’s in Belize
I heard at Iwo Jima Brian Williams helped to raise the flag
John C Reilly and Will Ferrell dryly
Said that Tafoya was the one they always wanted to shag
I heard this from
Mr Tony’s Email Bag

(spoken)
-Well, the Tafoya thing wasn’t actually a mailbag topic.
-How much time we got? Do we have time?
- We’ve got about 25 seconds
-okay, here’s one about Brendon.

Well Steenbergen’s move
To act with disdain for his peers
On work conference tweets he crashes their hashtag and veers
With pics of his cat slurping from the toilet
Risks his job for a gag
So he could get into
Mr Tony’s Email Bag

Parody of "Riverbottom Nightmare Band" by Paul Williams