Lyrics

Big thanks to Jason and the Rob. This idea came to each of us around the same time.



Jingle Bells, Starbucks cups, Gretchen Wu-Tang Clan

Christmas Eve, near Rockville, it was four in the morn
I saw a not-so-jolly man, he was orange and bald
Peering through a solid window a menorah was on
And then he strolled onto his sidewalk overloaded with salt

Snow shovel in his clutches but it wasn't to dig
He was looking for a cross-country skier to hit
Saw me staring, got spooked, and scampered back in quick
The reversal of when Satch sees Anna Kendrick

In his haste, he dropped a photo straight down on the grass
It had a monkey base jumping with Robert Kraft
So I called my bookie up, "Put a dime on the Pats"
The next week, I was swimming in a pile of cash

But it didn't seem fair to not share with the guy
So I went back to his home: right, right, left, right
He said, "Thanks for the tribute, you're an honest dude
Here's a PTI hat and a pair of deck shoes"


It's Christmas time in the DMV
Sheehan scopes the NAM, ignores his family
Tony bastes the turkey and checks the stuffin’
Then he shoves it back into the toaster oven

Cillizza unwraps a Starship boxed set
And that’s about as guilty as a pleasure gets
Gary gives Spike a Fan Duel account
Torie tells him take Lakers, they're playoff bound

Jeanne holds a wrapped canvas in her hand
It's Reginald’s commissioned portrait of his man Bud Grant
At David’s house, an invitation quickly arrives
For the second annual TK Jingles Live

Howard got a doctorate from Holy Cross
Liz strokes a strand of the Boss’s locks
Nigel stabs a Michael Phelps voodoo doll
And that's what Christmas is all about y'all


A parody of "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC