Lyrics

At one point a couple weeks ago Tony said "Catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for" when discussing the college football playoffs, And we know how he feels about Stoops, Saban and Meyer. Thanks to Kj for going along with this nonsense and making it so much better.

Twas just a couple years ago I discovered this new game
Maybe you have heard of it, college football is the name
What drew me in was how the coaches liked to brag and boast
And then their teams were so atrocious when it mattered most

Catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for
See I don't have a favorite team, I grew up in New York
But if this game can make a grown man cry, then I'm on board
Cause catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for

(Stoops and Saban and Urban Meyer)
(Hope they lose, and then they die)

There's nothing quite like this sport, for crushing hopes and dreams
I prefer to enjoy, my suffering vicariously
Now I'm a connoisseur, ergo, I've heard of Notre Dame
And just like Big Game Bob, I always free up New Years Day

Catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for
Philosophic musings born of sport played with an ovaloid
Solely for my own enjoyment, I hope they all lose some more
Check the tape, the Irish were in Wilbon's top four

(That's not analytics, I was right)

Good thing the NCAA is never in full accord
At every stupid thing they do I laugh with utter joy!
Prostitutes to get recruits isn't often caught?! Oh boy...

Um.... Catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for
The more disorder that they court the more that I enjoy
Their pandemonium might finally humble all of them at some point
But catastrophic havoc is the thing I always root for

Parody of "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" from Mary Poppins