The Kornheiser Can (The Candy Man)

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A parody of a song by Sammy Davis Jr..
Recorded by Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
Recorded: 11/12/2015  Released: 11/12/2015  First aired: 11/16/2015

Lyrics

Tony gripes a lot....that is all... :-)

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Who can field a panel
And “praise” it like a shrew?
Cover it enough with somewhat
Empty platitudes
Oh Kornheiser
The Kornheiser can
The Kornheiser can cause he
Mixes it with hate
And makes us laugh along too

Who can take a question
When he doesn’t have a clue?
He tries to hide pretension
But you know it shines right through
The Kornheiser
Oh the Kornheiser can
The Kornheiser can cause he
Mixes it with spite
And then he feels so good.

The Kornheiser makes
Every person take
A notice of his situation
He talks about expired fishes
And doesn’t even do the dishes

Oh, who can schmooze tomorrow,
And ask for fish for free?
He hates all these millennials
Well, hey, I guess that’s me!
The Kornheiser
The Kornheiser can
The Kornheiser can cause he
Mixes it with bottles
Of Johnny Walker Blue.

Related Songs

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And Desmond Blows (And So It Goes) by Swingmonalisa
They Can't Hit, They Can't Field (Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da) by Patrick Moffett
A Room of Our Own by Swingmonalisa
The Randy Man by ElliotO

Comments

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  • Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
    Lol Brad. Definitely bringing chirpygrouse into my everyday conversation.
    3156 days ago.
  • Byron in Philadelphia, PA
    Nice one!
    3156 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Boom!
    3156 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    In the spirit of the humblebrag, Joh brings us the chirpygrouse - the preeminent example, right here!
    3156 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    the original song is horrendous, but your performance of it is outstanding.
    3156 days ago.
  • John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
    I hate that this song is so cheery I can't stop singing it. Every cover is so fun. And Jason, it's so fun to combine those two things, adds an extra layer I love doing.
    3156 days ago.
  • robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
    this is AWESOME! empty platitudes. just fantastic stuff, John.
    3156 days ago.
  • Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
    Very good! I love that there are 3 parodies of this one. Can there really be enough of Candy Man? Nah. Great lyrics, great performance!
    3158 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    Man, so good... I think we both have a predisposition to taking snarky lyrics and putting them to a happy or overly serious sounding song. You can have my guest pass to join Gen X anytime if you like ... you'd fit right in. :)
    3159 days ago.
  • Anita from Alaska
    Mixes it with spite. My favorite line.
    3159 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Great vocal performance too. Bravo!
    3159 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    That was a LONG time ago. Elliott and Kj also did THE RANDY MAN. All three have their merits.
    3159 days ago.
  • John Neiswinger in Bel Air, MD
    Dangit, I didn't realize you had already done this one! I checked THE candy man instead of candy man! I thought I had remembered one ;-)
    3159 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    Ha!! Great lyrics. Well done John!
    3159 days ago.

Playlists

This jingle is included in the following playlists:

Playlist User
All of Swingmonalisa's Jingles Swingmonalisa in Bel Air, MD
All the TK Jingles of 2015 Jerry in Annandale, VA
Favorites 3KnuckCoach in Edgefield, SC
Favorites Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
Favorites Byron in Philadelphia, PA

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