Eye of the Black Bear

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A parody of a song by Survivor.
Recorded by robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 09/13/2015  Released: 09/14/2015  First aired: 09/15/2015

Lyrics

Risin’ Up, ready for Round 2
A New Mexican man and a black bear
Deep bites and cuts on
His head and his chest
Let’s see if this Darwin Candidate survives
Once again he’s down for the count
It’s a Trevor Berbick situation
He’s bleeding out, probably too late for him
Here’s what to do if you want to stay to alive

It’s the eye of the black bear
You must claw, scratch, and blight
Wilbon says “Untuck your shirt
to appear wider.”
It’s important not to panic
Though you’re being eaten alive
Swing your children repeatedly at the
Eye of the black bear

Comments

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  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    Incomparable!!!
    3324 days ago.
  • Kj Ohnstad in Red Wing, MN
    Yep! I can check another song I've had on my list off my list. I would not have come close to this. Stiches, Rob!
    3335 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    I just realized I should have done a Michael Buffer impersonation instead of a window nation read for the show version. I don't know how I missed that. I just wanted to get more of the song in to set the mood. dammit.
    3338 days ago.
  • Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC
    Great writing!
    3338 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    Mr. Tony LOVED it! So do I.
    3338 days ago.
  • rob in Pittsburgh, PA
    i've exaggerated the details. he lived. i think Kevin still laughed, but the guy should be fine.
    3338 days ago.
  • judofuse in Atlanta
    I'm behind on the show, so I can only guess that he wasn't a... survivor... and this was a news story they were laughing at.
    3338 days ago.