Lyrics

An only child from Binghamton, an english major too
He used to write some columnettes until a chat with old Raju
He's a man of many fears, so scared he's gonna die
he's terrified of the Bay Bridge, what's this thing they call WI-FI?

He goes out for the evening, but he never stays out late
He tried to watch a whole film once, but his bedtime wouldn't wait
He shops the Refugee Safeway, he's never been to a Whole Foods
He hates to wait in checkout lines because those moosecans sure are rude!

The Reader Of The Mail is old, and his head is orange and bald
He'd like to get free stuff from you, and he loves his bocce balls
I try to make Tony's Mailbag, but everytime I fail....
so here's another jingle parody, about The Reader Of The Mail

By Joe Aro
Parody of the late, great Dan Fogelberg's "LEADER OF THE BAND"