Lyrics

Well I heard that Mr. Harper was looking for some jewelry
Ever since the Nats signed Scherzer, and he knew that they'd be great
But it's been a couple weeks and he still can't seem to find it
Tell me where in the world did Bryce Harper's ring go?

Is it in Reginald's cage, near a card with Junior's measurements?
Or at Refugee Safeway hidden with the grapefruit juice?
Was it stolen by a chimp for the animal revolution?
Tell me where in the world did Bryce Harper's ring go?

Is it in the prize closet or near the red bocce ball?
With Tony's shades he bought at Sunglass Hut?

Well, I think James Carville knows, but he can't call in to tell us
And I might have seen a map to it on NewsChannel 8.
Is it out in Arizona guarded by some javelinas?
Tell me where in the world did Bryce Harper's ring go?