Wilbon's Thrift Shop (EXTENDED)

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A parody of a song by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis.
A Collaboration by Jerry in Annandale, VA, Jason Fuse in Los Angeles, Luke Overbey in Charleston, SC & robert berg in Pittsburgh, PA
Recorded: 06/29/2016  Released: 06/29/2016  First aired: unaired

Lyrics

Prepared especially for TK Jingles LIVE 2016 : EVEN LIVER!

He's gonna drop some names
eating steak with Earvin Johnson
Golfing with Obama
anytime he wants ta
Wilbon's fucking awesome

He's gonna drop some names
playing squash with Charles Barkley
NBA TV
and TNT
Wilbon's fucking awesome

Now, he’ll call up to the show like, “What up? This is Wilbon.”
Then causally work in some 30 names that he will drop
At MJ’s crib, poolside with gelato
By the way, did you know Wilbon’s from Chicago?

Hangin’ with celebrities, Beyoncé said just call her Bey
Bought a suit from Canali, yes he’s lookin’ very chic
Wore it once, that’s enough, gave it up to charity
And when I say charity, I mean Andy Polley
(Cheeeeaaaap)
But freaks, Wilbon's on fleek

He's name droppin in Washington, about all of his Chicagoans
And nothing is shockin him cause of where's he's eavesdroppin in
He's on the West Coast again, bought 2 boats he's yachting in
He skippers his clippers in hopes of being Doc River's friend

When brittle Virginians get their little blizzards then
Wilbon lounges in the Phoenix heat and blithely belittles them

He had a big house true, he bought a new house too
Just for his oxfords, now he calls ‘em house shoes

Cmon, Cmon - with the Callaway's he owes Tone...
In debt on a bet, when his homes are disposable?

He knows Janet and Jesse, Rudy and Randy
Even Tito and Andy, Wilbon's around all the one-percenters

And since he does that there’s no doubt he’s a one-percenter
The only analytics he’s down with is “one-percenter”

He got game himself brings his own bowling ball when he plays
And buys a brand new pair of shoes to wear for every frame
Every frame?
Every frame
That’s really lame

Most stats are just specious
But Wilbon's patrician
And so he needed a
Way to rank his own status
So he invented this: (analytics!)
The Weighted Influence (bear with us)
Level Based On Namedrops (acronyms!)
We call it the WILBON

He's gonna drop some names
at a spinning class with John Legend
taught the dalai lama
how to find nirvan
Wilbon's fucking awesome!

He's gonna drop some names
then make a cameo on Empire
Booked a love scene
with Alicia Keys
Wilbon's fucking awesome!!

A parody of Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, "Thrift Shop"