Lyrics

This is getting silly
Two years down the drain
You went and bought a restaurant
and it's going down in flames

'cause you see ONE DUDE (that's not a lot!)
You're serving breakfast but they all forgot!
He's JUST ONE.
How can you sustain a for-profit business?
Let's hope he comes back again

Lock the doors and windows
make him stay for lunch
Toss him a Chatter t-shirt
then charge him fifty bucks
You ask if he'd like dinner but he says he's gotta go
How can this charade go on when all you've got is ONE?

ONE DUDE!
ONE PLATE!
ONE CUP OF COFFEE!
Man, let's hope he stays...

A parody of U2, "One"