Lyrics

He’s a real golfing fan
All the time he talks to Sands
Telling all his golfing plans to . . . nobody

Zoysia grass or Kikuyu
Tells us when they start to bloom
No, he’s not a bit like me and you.

Golfing fan, keep yakking
Half your audience is napping
Golfing fan, it’s your show, I guess that’s your plan