Lyrics

Well my granddaddy talks ok a pod
On a tv show and gives Canada a nod
He knows Michael and Liz have 2 sons
Now these two sons were given names
Modern folk called Walker and Hank
But Tony won’t acknowledge either one

He must o thought it was quite lame
That the boys parents tried to give them names
Without asking Tony what he’d answer
He said go ahead and write what you will
On that birth certificate you have to fill
I’ll just call them Bootsy and the Hammer

Well it was Chevy Chase in mid July
And the Hammer he started to cry
Hoping grandpa would pick him up
But when Tony saw that crying kid
He must have tried to run and hid
Because Tony really doesn’t like to touch

His older brother came to the house
He knows by now be quiet as a mouse
And be careful when you ask for bologna
Grandma will spoil you rotten
She’ll give you everything she’s ever gotten
But that man there we only call him Tony

My daddy told me it’s ok
You don’t even want to know how he flies on planes
One day it will all be worth it, Sonny
We might sometimes get mad as hell
But it gives us lots of stories to tell
And when you’re grown you’ll get all of his money