Lyrics

WEIRD BUT TRUE: I substituted a Quip toothbrush for the cowbell on the percussion track of this recording!!

Brushing is a chore
but root canals hurt more

Have you tried the mail order toothbrush?
that pulses as you brush your teeth (guiding pulses help you brush)
Your son can help you do it twice a day (Nothing weird about that)
Your son can join you in the bathroom twice a day (nope, still not weird)
Father & son sharing a bathroom twice a day (Learn to brush your teeth)
Come on, Tony (Don't fear the toothbrush)
You should also floss (It’s just a toothbrush)
and use a little mouthwash (Don't fear the toothbrush)
or maybe just use dentures

A parody of Blue Oyster Cult, "Don't Fear the Reaper"