If You Could Clean My Collar

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A parody of a song by Gordon Lightfoot.
Recorded by Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
Recorded: 06/03/2018  Released: 06/06/2018  First aired: unaired

Lyrics

If you could clean my collar
I won’t have to have to take my clothes away
Why must you call me a mean man
Save that drama for some other day
I don’t ask for much just a press and fold
A box and hangers mix
I’ll pick up after six
I don’t know, perhaps you can see that this anxiety makes me feel under attack
Then you hide out in the back
Can I speak with a manager please who doesn’t speak Chinese cuz I just don’t get it
This new shirt cost me ninety-four bucks and your spot treating sucks and I’m just not coming back

Comments

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  • Anonymous Little
    This is so good
    2338 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    Yep! Flying to England out of Dulles on Monday so coming up early for various nonsense.
    2341 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Hey, you're coming, too?! Coolio.
    2341 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    Aw thanks, Brad! Felt like this idea was worth coming out of Jingle retirement to do. I'm looking forward to meeting you on the 23rd!
    2341 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    What's almost as wonderful as this tune is that the menu item above on the website today says: 68 shirts remain. 17 days until they burn. Perfection.
    2343 days ago.