Lyrics

Here's one about one of Tony's more frustrating behavioral tics. Tony can't help himself, I know, when a call-in guest's phone starts to act up. He ought to know after 20+ years in radio/podcasts that the caller actually has NO CONTROL over the sound of their phone. But, whatever, everyone goes with the flow as if TK is being reasonable. This song suggests he is, perhaps, not. In the style of '80s Boy Band New Edition.

Mr. Telephone Man by New Edition

Fix your telephone, man
There's something wrong with your line
When I hear the slightest crackle
I blame the guest every time

Fix your telephone, Ann
There's something wrong with your line
Can’t help but interrupt you
It’s another reason for me to whine
I can’t stand a bad connection
It guarantees my interjection
I just don’t get how phones work!
All this technology’s blowing my mind!
Can't you call back on a land line?

I just have this bad fixation
It leads straight to my vexation
Hornaday’s on the phone, sayin’
“It’s not my fault there, Tone”