The Xmas Song

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A parody of a song by Mel Tormé.
Recorded by Brad Weiss in Carrboro, NC
Recorded: 12/11/2016  Released: 12/12/2016  First aired: 12/22/2016

Lyrics

Is there ANYTHING as annoying as this repetitive holiday music?

Apparently so.

NB - now full-length!!


Better harvest your nuts right now, man
Just go get her busy bee
I find him objectionable on every level
Where’s the cake? What a waste of time
Jesus, what am I speaking Chinese, Straight cash homey
Again with the chicken?? Every night
His show is terrible, and I’m really happy
Transgenders and hermaphrodites

They should be stabbed with cocktail forks
We have so much in common, we both love soup
But we don't have the chaputzva to do it
What's Argo mean - I don’t know…

Go measure my penis, let me get on the plane
Wow John Feinstein. Bye-bye Pervert
Just take a guess at how much I can bench press.
Well I do hope you’ll die soon

Go measure my penis, let me on the plane
Wow John Feinstein. Bye-bye Pervert
Just take a guess at how much I can bench press.
Well I do hope you’ll die soon

After "The Christmas Song" by the Velvet Fog (As recorded by Nat Cole)

Related Songs

I Hate Squirrels by Brad Weiss
Santa Baby by Brad Weiss
Vincent (Starry, Starry Night) by Brad Weiss
B$%&! (Brick) by Swingmonalisa
Mandy by Brad Weiss

Comments

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  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    Feel free to sing it year round - it's the gift that keeps on giving!
    2866 days ago.
  • Anita from Alaska
    What a beautiful rendition Brad. I'm glad Christmas is over so I don't have to sing go measure my penis in my head for the next month. At least not until next November.
    2866 days ago.
  • Brad Weiss in Williamsburg, VA
    And to you, Daddy Pat. Thanks!!
    2871 days ago.
  • Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
    And Happy Hanukkah and New Year as well!
    2871 days ago.
  • Patrick Moffett in Sacramento, CA
    This is my new favorite jingle, a history of the show in codas, Merry Christmas, Professor Weiss!
    2871 days ago.
  • Greg Smallwood in Waynesville, OH
    Fledgling Littles should be required to listen to this, "We Didn't Start the Fire", and "Tony Kornheiser, Man" before requesting a sticker . . .
    2874 days ago.
  • Carlton in Belgrade
    Shame the best parts didn't make the show
    2874 days ago.
  • joeythejammer in Ellicott City, MD
    Perfection.
    2874 days ago.
  • John Fitzpatrick in Arlington, VA
    So great! A really appreciative in-studio reaction. This jingle's wonderful and I am really happy.
    2874 days ago.
  • mrlip in Springfield, VA
    A Mr. Tony holiday favorite for years to come.
    2884 days ago.
  • Hampton Nager in Dallas, TX
    The Velvet Fog would have been proud. This is certainly good enough for a set of steak knives.
    2884 days ago.