Lyrics

(These are the lyrics I wrote; I'll fill in Jerry's when I'm not on a tablet)

Did you know that I had that?
And that Junior won't admit he's fat.
Says he wears size 36
Now, do you believe the animals will one day rise up and revolt, well,
Tweet to Chris Cilizza @TheFix
Well I know that Carville's supposed to call
But his schedule's packed from wall to wall
We'll talk to him next week
Yeah, his picks will be on fleek
I was a talk show host and a writer too
Till I had a chat with old Raju
But no columnette could make me blue
The day the delay died

THIRD VERSE
Now, four pieces of UnderArmour gear
While Kevin says if the weather's clear
In zip code 2-0-0-1-5
When Popovich gave his guys a rest
And the NBA gave a shrug at best
Well, we learned that Adam Silver's not alive
And while Bryce tried to find his ring
Matt Williams had the press slurping
But Svrluga can't divine
If the Orchid will re-sign
The Littles all made snide remarks
When Chris sipped wine at Nationals Park
And I went to bed just after dark
The day the delay died

FOURTH VERSE

So here we are all in one place
With Tootsie Rolls to stuff my face
And Bagel City's here again
So come on, let's go golfing, place a bid
But please don't have me quiz your kid
'Cause Alan Bubys is my only friend
And as I read the Cheeseboy's page
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
He just transcribes my words
The 'Bog' is so absurd
Well, Pete Yarrow sure gave me a fright
When he showed up in my house that night
But no visit could stop my delight
The day the delay died

FIFTH VERSE

Triscuit, Triscuit, everywhere a Triscuit
I just told McManus to eat it 
With pepper, sea salt and brown rice
The Wizards' shots were cold as ice
Those long two-pointers aren't so nice
Said Leonsis, giving Wittman some advice
And through the air I had to fly
For Super Bowl week on PTI
I offered Jeff Ma cash
Those oatmeal squares were trash
And while Roger Goodell made himself despised
With decisions that were ill-advised
Mike Wilbon just was not surprised
The day the delay died

LAST VERSE 

I met a girl who worshipped Bruce 
And I asked her for some happy news
But 'Skins news doesn't come that way
I went down to Bloomingdale's
To buy some sheets at their White Sale
But 400 bucks is just too much to pay
And on the ice, old Trotzy screamed
And Ovi made a guarantee
But sadly for Al Koken, 
The Capitals were chokin'
And the Weasels whom I hate the most
They cannot stop my podcast post
And all the Littles raised a toast
The day the delay died.