Lyrics

When talking with Jerry about next weeks prodcast, he had mentioned that one of Billy Joel's better and underrated albums "Turnstiles" had all of the songs covered except for "All You Wanna do is Dance."

This was not surprising.

It is AWFUL.

The original version (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU03Nu4ep5E) is some sort of weird reggae song that might contain some sort of message? Apparently, the drummer for Joel's band absolutely HATES reggae, which makes it even better. I don't know, it's always been one of my least favorite Billy Joel songs. So of course I decided to make a mockery of it and do an almost full length song about Tony complaining. And predictably, there wasn't a karaoke track, so I even had to make a track for it. I didn't have a steel drum voice in Garage Band, so I did what I could, but for the few people that actually know this song, you might enjoy it ;-).

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Oh Tony, I bet you can’t turn on your radio.
Oh Tony, we know someone installed your stereo.
“Will the Nats finally win their World Series?”
“Is there free parking right near the set?”
Oh Tony, all you ever do is kvetch.

Oh Tony, your handicap ain’t what it used to be.
Oh Tony, “On fleek” isn’t what you say secretly.
You don’t understand what they’re saying,
Well, you’ve given it every chance
Oh Tony, all you ever do is kvetch.

Well you wish you were back in the good old days,
When grapefruit juice was cheaper,
And you always read the words of your favorite books
On actual paper.
And you vent about FP and the slurping he does
As the Orchid disappears
But we wouldn’t have any other, although you only work for ten months out of the year.

Oh Tony, you might be in the Hall in D.C.
But Tony, you might wanna campaign more graciously
You might want a living commissioner
And the Knicks always do make you wretch
Oh Tony, all you ever do is kvetch.

Do you really miss puttin’ on the ritz for beloved newspapers?
Yes you hate to drive around in an inch of snow with idiot neighbors
Well we know that you don’t love
Flying up above unless you’re stoned out of your rear
But you just might come over to hang out with the Littles but just one time a year