Lyrics

My good friend Rob Pendell from Connecticut is a baseball fanatic and loves parody songs. When I told him about this site he sent me this Joe Jackson classic based on Scherzer's comments. Since I'm attempting a clearly unsustainable zero-to-one-song-a-day TK Jingles acceleration I present this for your listening pleasure.

Am I Really Going To Bat Again?
(parody of “Is She Really Going Out With Him?”)
by Max Scherzer

Opposing pitchers are walking the gorillas who bat eighth
From the circle I shiver while my name gets announced

Look over there
(Where?)
There, there’s Bumgarner looking so polite.
He says we don’t need DH or nothin’, so I am told.

Am I really going to bat again?
Do I really have to run to first tonight?
Am I really going to bat again?
Because if your eyes don’t disturb you
Wait until you see me try to hit.

Tonight Wainwright showed that hitting may just be our Achilles’ heel,
We take BP and we flail away, we look real smooth.

Look over there
(Where?)
There, here comes Bill James and some SABR geeks.
They say that bunts don’t count for much
And so here goes your proof.

Am I really going to bat again?
Do I really have to lay one down tonight?
Am I really going to bat again?
Because if your eyes don’t disturb you
Wait until you see me try to hit.

But a hit could kill
I don’t want to walk like Chien-Ming Wang
When I take the hill
Listen Matt, your lineup is all wrong
Pitching is what pays, I’m not Willie Mays.
Say Hey Hey. Say Hey Hey.

Am I really going to bat again?
Do I really have to flail away tonight?
Am I really going to bat again?
Because if your eyes don’t disturb you
Wait until you see me try to hit.

Try to hit.
Wait until you see me try to hit.