Lyrics

Jordan Spieth wins The Masters, his first major at 21, and ties/breaks records in the process. One of the first things Tony talks about: How he's already losing his hair.

(Once upon a time, many hairs ago)

Tony used to wear an afro
It was colored orange
I bet it looked awesome
Although - He mighta looked like Bozo.

Wilbon says just shave it away
Yelling on the air
He says he's not bald
He's shaved, He's shaved

Tony says to Jordan
Hold on, to the hair you've got
It might not be much left, but that's why I like you a lot
You've got a major - that's more than Tiger since he got caught.
And we can pay cash for yachts.

Woah, You're halfway there
Woah, losing all your hair
Take off that hat, fluff it up if you care
Woah - losing all your hair

Parody of Living on a Prayer by Bon Jovi