Lyrics

At the request of John "Junior" Feinstein: a jingle set to a song from "A Chorus Line!"

[spoken]
Mr. Tony... Oh, Mr. Tony...
Every time I’m in the car I try to put on his podcast
and about 5 minutes in my wife asks me
“Is this that Tony Show again? Please turn it off, you’re going to scare the children"
and I say, “But we haven’t finished Old Guy Radio. And Sheehan’s up next and
I want to know when to expect the next… big… SNOW"

[sings]
Ev'ry day at 4am Tony
reads the paper, reads the paper
front to back

Ev'ry day at 6pm he's
feeling drowsy, feeling drowsy
hits the sack

And my wife just sighs and I see her eyes roll
when he says what he ate last night
Then my wife says she can’t listen to the show
but she tried, she tried

[spoken]
And Mr. Tony’s talking about his aches and pains
and David’s angry about the Redskins, Marc’s doing that silly accent and Gary keeps repeating that “er" joke
And my wife turns to me and she says,
"Okay, so what’s so special about this show?"

[sings]
And I said..."Nothing,
Truly nothing.
There’s not much sports
and Tony’s jokes are quite obscure.

Yet somehow nothing
is entertaining
And somehow
it’s the best show I’ve ever heard!"

A parody of A Chorus Line, “Nothing”