Lyrics

I just bought the paper
and I can’t believe what I see
Tell me, where’s that funny dude
from radio and TV?

Distribution’s down
at the top paper in town
Tony got too old
so they told him to go home
Tony got Raju-ed
I verbified a proper noun

And even though he don’t write columns anymore
He tapes a show every morning starting at 4:00
Watching sports and eating ice cream every night
Sound lame to me but that’s what he likes
Tony has a knack to sit around and yack
And not even Bill Simmons can lure him back
‘cause it’s pretty easy to yack, yeah!

A parody of Weezer, “The Good Life"