Lyrics

"Handy Man" [AKA: The Ballad of Strathmore Garage]

Parked cars gather round, as Mister Tony rolls his window down
Hey Tony, where’s your credit card?
He’s not the kind to use anything but cash
Though bank transactions make it work in a flash
He whines and complains, I know, what a complete ass

If you park your car in a garage
Then a Visa is all you’ll need
Just swipe that black stripe, it ain’t all that hard
My kid’s done it since she was three.

Here is the main thing that I want to say
These are things all humans do every day
Get with the program now, without delay

Come on, come on, come on you’re a grown man
Sad, sad, sad
Come on, come on, come on, you’re a grown man
You gotta be kiddin’ me.

Here is the main thing that I want to say,
We listen all of two hours each day,
This crap drives us nuts
It’s the nicest thing I can say

Come on, come on, come on you’re a grown man,
Sad, sad, sad
Come on, come on, come on, come on Tony,
You gotta be kiddin’ me.

A parody of "Handy Man" by James Taylor