Lyrics

Song: to the tune of PP&M's "If I Had A Hammer"
Performed by: Kjerstin Ohnstadt & John Fitzpatrick
Lyrics by: Hampton Nager

If I had a sirloin
I’d toast it in the morning
I’d toast it in the evening
after spraying some Pam
I’d broil up fish sticks
I’d broil up a steak-um
I’d heat up tater tots, rye toast and frozen pizza
And maybe some spam

Well if I had some creamer
I’d throw it at an intern
‘Cuz Cliffy better know how
how to open that can
And if I had some swiss cheese
it better have really big holes
‘Cuz I’m rich, and old, and once an only child
Don’t you know who I am

Now it’s time for the mail bag
I’ll read a few this morning
Mike from Burke is always crushing
and there’s a haiku from Shad
I’ll name all the Rascals
And hope it isn’t boring
I’ll read out notes between a Fredo admonition
and a jingle that’s bad