Lyrics

The problem now is evident as each of us can see
The solution here is easy if you ask Mister Tony
He’d like a broken finger or perhaps a wounded knee
There must be fifty ways to injure Corbin

Slipped disk in the back, Jack
Arthritis in the hand, Stan
He ruptured a nerve, Merv
We’ll think of something

He got receding gums, chums
He’s got a corneal scratch, Satch
Fake injury is key, Lee
To set the Nationals free

He’s got a twinge in his hammy, Sammy
He’s got a hangnail, Dale
He’s got an irritable bowel, Hal
That sounds messy

A stone in his kidney, Sidney
He's allergic to dust, Gus
Fake injury is key, Lee
To set the Nationals free

Lyrics by Steve Lipton

Shoutout to the 50 other jingles of this song.