Lyrics

Oh great, he’s opened up the paper
So he can read a column by his dear friend Sally Jenkins
The quintessential sportswriter is next up from Beantown
But that flip phone that he's using
Makes it sound like he's been buried underground

Barry Svrluga where do we stand now
Yahoo for Pat Forte,
T-t-t-t-tony and his guestsssssss
Cue up the Zevon for the next segment
It’s the smartest man in Washington.
And then the Occ can call with college basketball
Sometimes we’ll even hear from Phil’s Mom.
T-t-t-t-tony and his guestsssssss

Elton John's "Bennie and the Jets" in parodic fashion